Why is Sebastian Bach so freakin' cool?

Before I start this week's pithy commentary, I would like to mention the poll question for this week. It turns out it's actually a poll for last week. I wasn't going to do one but then one of the comments was a smart alecky remark about it not being there. And of course, I succumb so easily to peer pressure.

Now I would also like to mention that the following story is, in fact, about Sebastian Bach the former lead singer of Skid Row and not the composer Johann Sebastian Bach. I would also like to mention that I am stating the name Sebastian Bach very frequently in a pathetic attempt to drum up some run-off attention during a Google search for Sebastian Bach. It's shameless and I don't care. Not only will it not stop, it's only going to get worse.

A couple of years ago, I was in the play, "Much Ado About Nothing," by William Shakespeare at the American Globe Theatre in New York, NY. (See what I mean) The character of Claudio was played by Trent Dawson. Trent was a very cool, talented actor who had credits on Broadway and I believe still has a character on, "As The World Turns," a soap opera based in New York. And of course, if anyone does a Google search yadda yadda yadda.

Around this time, Senor Bach was in a production of Rocky Horror Picture show on Broadway. One night, after we finished our show, we hung out at a local watering hole where many actors tend to frequent. And who turns out to be there but none other than the, "18 and Life," singer himself. It also turns out that he's a very tall man of about 6'5". But I still punked him with my 6'7".

Now I didn't approach him or anything at this point. Me and my friends simply tittered in the corner like little schoolgirls. It wasn't so much because I was a big Skid Row fan, (because I wasn't) but more so because he was clearly the most famous person I had seen in person at that point in my life. Plus I was fairly new to the city and it was truly what I had always imagined life in New York would be like. Celebrities in every bar. Little did I know how much better it would become.

So you remember that guy Trent Dawson? It was like two paragraphs ago ... C'mon people ... Well go back and re-read it ... I'll wait ... Got it? Okay, so it turned out that Trent had a friend who was in the same production of Rocky Horror as Sebastian. As a result, the entire Trent Dawson entourage was invited to hang out with the entire Sebastian Bach entourage.

And that would have been enough for me. I would have been very content to just sit in a corner, drink my beer, talk with my friends, and be in the vicinity of an '80's, dare I say, icon. No I won't. But he was famous. However, this would not be enough. It turns out that he is an incredibly cool human being. He actually ended up ... talking to us. And not just that bullshit, "Hey, how ya doing, stop staring at me." No my friends, he was having full on, hanging out, laughing, joking, conversations with the lowly Much Ado crowd.

He talked about how much he loved his hot, porn-star looking, wife. He talked about how she was the best woman in the world for him. He said, "You know that line in that song, 'I've been around the world and I've seen a million girls?' Well I've been around the world and there ain't a million girls. There's only one. So I went back to her and begged her to take me back." Yeah. I know. That's really sweet right. There's more.

He talked about why he supported Bush. (Mind you, this was way before the war and his attempt to drag this country into the ninth circle of hell.) His reasoning was, "I've had the most success in my career when there was a Bush in the White House. During the first Bush administration, my band was really big. And now during the second Bush administration, my career is doing well again. (He was on his second Broadway stint and getting great reviews) So I'm all for Bush." Can any of us argue with that type of reasoning? No, you can't. Oh, it gets better.

At one point during the evening, he busted out two very large bags of marijuana. He said the following, "This is my 'Stay at Home' weed and this is my 'Going Out' weed." He then rolled a joint from the "Stay at home" weed (selfish prick) and proceeded to invite everyone into the bathroom to take a hit. Now I'm not that big of a pot smoker, but I simply could not resist the urge to share a peace pipe with a famous guy. I figured that one day, the Internet would really take off, that blogging would become really popular, and that I would need a cool story to write about. What can I say? I'm a visionary. So about 10 of us crowded into the bathroom and took a hit. It turned out that it didn't do much for me. (I really wished he had shared the "Going Out" weed.) However, it was hilarious to see about 10 people walking into and out of a tiny bathroom like a demented clown car.

But let me tell you the absolute best part. Around this time, there was a magician's conference in town and one of the magician's happened to be in the bar. He also happened to be a HUGE Skid Row fan. So, during the entire conversation with the Rock Star, he was performing a series of magic tricks. Like a court jester. I mean, the whole thing was beyond surreal. My favorite trick was the one that wasn't really a trick but more of a prank. He used me as his guinea pig. He balls up a napkin and places it in my right hand. Then he tells me that he's going to make it jump into my left hand. I, of course, was dying to see this. So he holds me by both wrists, tells me to concentrate, and says some mumbo jumbo. When the trick failed to work and the napkin was still in my hand, I was very disappointed. That is, until I looked up and saw Sebastian Bach giggling like a little schoolboy and holding my watch. Yes, the magician stole my watch. So if the magic thing doesn't work out, he's got excellent potential as a pickpocket.

Our time with him ended with the owner of the establishment, who upon seeing the weed smoking incident, invited the celebrity up to a private room where he could do that sort of thing without jeopardizing his business. So it was goodnight and goodbye to Sebastian Bach. The evening, unfortunately, ended on a slightly sour note. It turned out that there were two huge parties of drinkers there. And as the night wore on, people began to peel off and leave a little money for the check. Well, by the end of the night, there was a huge bill, not nearly enough money, and about three of us left to pay it. Now, I will make this absolutely clear that the waitress did not make us pay for Sebastian Bach's drinks. That was on a separate tab. He's many things but a deadbeat is not one of them. But the thought did cross my mind. Since I was phenomenally broke at the time, there was no way that I could chip in anything additional to that bill. Thankfully, one of the Much Ado guys had a decent job and was willing to float the rest of it. Phew!

And that, my friends, was my first encounter with a celebrity. It was also, the best. I've met others while I was waiting tables which is fine and all. But there's nothing like hanging out with a famous dude like a "peer". A bunch of fellow actors getting together for a couple of drinks after their respective shows. It was all very glamorous. And now, I'm ready for the moment when some young actor is star-struck by my presence. Hell Yeah.