Why did I desperately need a vacation? (The dramatic conclusion)

Blogging is easy. Blogging consistently, well that takes an effort of Herculean proportions. But at the same time there really is no excuse for this latest lack of postings. First off, there were just so many people hanging on my every word and wondering just what exactly happened on my vacation. Secondly, it was so long ago that, not only do I need another vacation, but I barely remembered what happened this one.

The good news is that I'm here now. And there are several images from my vacation (that happened way the hell back in January) that are burned into my brain. Images that keep me calm and blissful in a stress-inducing society that is constantly trying to provoke me into actions that would undoubtedly lead to jail time. (Mmmm. Playa del Carmen.) I belatedly present them to you now.

So if you recall from my last posting, the beginning of the vacation was a bit of a...how shall I put this?...clusterf*ck. (Kids may be reading this and they don't know what swear words are) Well, my friends, there was a very happy ending to our harrowing tale.

I'll start with the fact that, despite the crappy weather to start, my girlfriend and I made the most of our situation. Since we couldn't enjoy sunshine, we chose to spend our first day at the spa located at our resort. (See, already your starting to eat your hearts out) Just mention the word spa and it just relaxes you. Two words: Heated pool. Two more words: Hot Tub. Two more words: Delight-Full.

The next day, the sun decided to make a cameo. Not a full on starring role mind you. Just a few brief appearances. Actually, it was more like a movie trailer. "Coming Soon to a resort near you. The most beautiful sunshine imaginable. Stay tuned." So with odds like that I decided to abandon my woman and hit the golf course. I would like to take this opportunity to point out that I am a very lucky man. Then again, I didn't lie to her about my golf addiction when I met her. She made her choices. She's agreed to share me with the monkey on my back.

Golf was golf. If you don't know what that means, read my previous post on the subject. Now let's get to the real highlights.

SATURDAY!!! SUNSHINE!!! Hallelujah!

We rented a car and did two things that day. The first was something that we kinda felt obligated to do but didn't really want to do. In retrospect, we shouldn't have bothered. But then again, I'm glad to be able to say we did it. We went to the Mayan ruins at Tulum. And they were...amazing...yeah...I mean...wow...ruins...tiny ruins...but ruins...so old...so much history, ya know...yeah...wow. Enough of that sh*t. On to the Xel-ha!

Xel-ha is, quite possibly, one of the most wonderful places on the planet. I am not joking. I loved that place. It's a little inlet off the Caribbean that's host to various sea life, and water games, and all-you-can-eat buffets, and heavenly bliss. It was here that I ventured into the world of snorkeling for the first time ever. It was the most terrifying and exhilarating experience of my life. I mean, people aren't supposed to be able to breath underwater. But there I was. Breathing underwater. Conquering what had once been a forbidden domain. I'm all like, "Hey fish. I'm a human being, but I'm hanging with you underwater. What do you think of that?" And the fish were like, "What's up man. Thanks for stopping by. Can I get you anything?" Yeah, it was that freakin' cool.

But even more enjoyable than the snorkeling (well almost) was my adventures on the "Cliff of Courage." That's right. Cliff Jumping bitches! Well, if you can call 15 feet a cliff. But believe you me, it's a lot scarier looking down than looking up. In fact, there was this one woman there who really wanted to jump but couldn't. She had been trying for like 2 hours. Not to brag, but I jumped about 3 times. We left her there and she was still considering it. We later ran into that same woman as we were leaving and it turned out that she tried for another hour but was never able to do it. I'm not going to judge. I mean, we've all got fears and we can't always(pussy) address them in the moment. I would actually like to (pussy) commend her for giving it a shot.

SUNDAY!!! MO' SUNSHINE!!!

We were mostly just being super-lazy. Sitting on the beach at the resort, enjoying a cocktail now and then. Later in the afternoon, we decided to go the the beach in Playa Del Carmen. Seriously, the beach there is so incredibly beautiful. Turquoise water and white sand. Turquoise! MY GOD! Honestly, I'm getting a little teary-eyed just thinking about it now. I was just so happy (sniff).

We stayed in Playa Del Carmen all afternoon and into the evening. Then we went to this amazing restaurant on the beach called Fusion. Go there. Now. You need it. Stop reading. Just go. Okay fine, maybe later. Anyway, what was so awesome about this place wasn't just the fact that it was on the beach and waves hitting the beach is the most wonderful sound ever; it wasn't just the fact that you could look up and see every single star that ever existed; it wasn't just the fact that there was live music including a sitar player; it was, in my opinion, the white dog that just roamed around. He was like the host. Going up to everybody, seeing how they were. You didn't even have to tip him with scraps of food. He was just hanging out and groovin' to the sitar.

And that, my friends, are the general highlights of my vacation from 7 months ago. I had a wonderful time and I can't wait to go back. Or at least somewhere else like it. I was watching Real Time with Bill Maher and he made a very interesting point. Americans are very stuck on accumulation of things. Other societies, particularly European ones, are more interested in experiences. Ultimately, it really has to be about the experiences. Stuff breaks. Stuff wears out. You have to get new stuff. And how much of it do you really need. But experiences will stay with you. Experiences will make you a more well rounded person. I know that I, personally, am going to strive to experience more experiences. End of sermon.

One last thing, I would be remiss if I did not mention the Blue Bay Resort's production of "The Lion King." (You heard me) A 45 minute rendition of the hit Broadway musical. It's as lame as it sounds. It consisted of a cast of 4 or 5 people in very cheesy Lion King costumes. The very best part was that one of the actors in this show really...how shall I say...went for it. I mean he LOVED being on stage. He LOVED performing. There was not an instant when there wasn't a HUGE smile on his face. I've got to say, his enthusiasm? INFECTIOUS. If you're lucky, I might post pictures. Maybe.